Thursday, November 11, 2010

30 Days of Truth - Day 4

Day 4 - Something you have to forgive someone for.

I won't lie.  This has been a hard one for me. 

At first thought, this was easy for me.  I forgave my ex-husband and his now fiancee a long time ago for the hell they brought down on me.  I'm actually thankful that it ended, though it could have ended better, we're friendly now, and I am happy about that.

What hit me, after that realization, is that there are some things I haven't forgiven yet.  Things that I don't talk about, or think about, because it hurts too much, and I go into a downwards spiral and can't get it out of my head.  Some things that can never really be properly forgiven because the perpetrators are dead. 

As I'm finally typing this, I realize that the Truth about Day Four is to acknowledge that you have to forgive someone for something.  You don't actually have to do it.  So that's what I'm doing now.  I acknowledge that I should be able to forgive.

I thought I was to a point where I could, but I can't.  Maybe I will someday.

Here we go again.


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