The macabre terpsichorean like unfolding of a car accident, you know that moment while it is happening.. at least for me... it's in slow motion... you hear the car skidding, even though you have your foot slammed down on the brake pedal as hard as you can... you feel the anti lock brakes pumping, you look left and right to see if there is any escape...you start to see the hood buckling, you hear the horrible sound of metal crunching and plastic parts popping in an awful melody of screech.bang.crunch.pop.hiss.sputter...you look down at your legs, you look up out the windshield...glance to the left, glance to the right...lie back in the seat and look straight forward at the horror that has been wrought upon you, the horror you have wrought upon yourself.
That was my Friday morning.
Fortunately... or not... I happened to be following my husband in to work to sign health insurance paperwork, so the person that I rear ended was him. The bumper of his truck has been sliced and permanently tattooed with the imprint of the front of my car.
Not two minutes later....screech.crash.bang.pop.crunch.hiss.sputter... a four car pileup right next to us. This is a new light in this intersection. Clearly they don't have the timing right yet...
I called my dealership, the service department people that have taken care of me for many years... they said if it is driveable to drive it in, I would be in good hands... my dear friend, and prime handholder JR was on vacation. Dave did take good care of me. ... I called work and spoke to the receptionist... the bosses are out of the office today... I called OnStar and had them connect me to the police department the police department give me crap because i called OnStar and didn't hit the red police/fire/emergency button...I'm not damaged I tell her...I hit my husband... do I have to report it... well that depends on your insurance company, in this instance you only have to report it if your insurance company requires a report... called the insurance company... no report is necessary, take it to the garage. Told them where I wanted to take it... where I already had arrangements to take it.. Oh your garage is on our approved list (thank God!)... We walked down to the other accident scene to talk to policeman handling the other accident, explain the situation... he waves us on our way...
Driving slowly and carefully with a buckled hood...morning rush hour... i can feel everyone is staring... why is she driving that pretty car in such a state... they are probably wondering... hisss....smoke puffs.... hisss..... call dealership, thankfully my new BFF Dave answers... uhm I think I punctured the radiator... smoke is coming out pretty hard now... I'm at X and X - less than five minutes away, do you think I can make it to you, or should I pull over... Pull over, here's the number to the towing company we use. It'll be okay, don't worry, you're in good hands...
Call the towing company... I'm a mess, I can barely talk, the dispatcher can't hear me... I say about three times where I am... John is outside my window holding my hand...I'm pretty sure I'm still in shock...dispatcher tells me to close up the car, leave a note on the window saying that "X Towing company" is coming to get it and leave the key under the mat... uhm..... i sputter... sputter... ma'am... are you ok??? Well I'm afraid to do that... won't someone steal my car... oh...I look out the front windshield... well I guess they won't get very far will they... that was a dumb question... well I don't know... he says "it'll be ok, people do it all the time.." He says someone will be here within 45 mins to get the car....I mumble again and hang up... I tell John... he asks if I want coffee.... I say YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!. He goes and gets coffee... I send an email to family letting them know that we won't be going to have a little getaway I had invited everyone to at the beach this Saturday, because I had an accident instead... I'm ok, but my car isn't... (Thanks to Summer and Daisy for the phone calls btw. I love you two SO.DAMN.MUCH.)
I call my friend in the insurance business... and ask her off the record how screwed I am... She confirms that I'm pretty screwed... my deductible is only $100 though... but so is John's. Great... I ask her what I have to do next... she gives me the 800 number to call and open a claim... Why am I screwed you ask... well they will penalize me for having an accident... on my next renewal... which is in January... of COURSE it is.
I call the ins 800#... the lady is very... professional... she almost seems to be...placating me... John points out that she's being empathetic, and trying to make me feel better... I see that he's right and I loosen up a bit. Coffee is screaming hot... I open the lid so it cools down... I take a sip of John's with a little something to calm me down.... The phone call with the insurance company takes f.o.r.e.v.e.r! I will get a rental car allotment of $20 per day. Great news.
Still waiting for the tow truck... I call him back and let him know that we decided to wait for them to show up... he says it'll probably be around 30 more minutes... ok....
I called one of my bosses who is home*... tell him what happened.. he is extremely sweet and kind and caring, and tells me that I don't have to come in, if I think J can handle it all... I tell him I will let him know what I decide to do. We decide not to bother the other boss who is on vacation out of town... I'm not dying or bleeding, so we'll tell him on Monday.
Not really feeling much of anything but sadness and disgust really. Later my body aches my neck, upper and lower back and ribs... John is off this weekend... drinking and debauchery should be in the plans for the weekend...
Tow truck guy comes... told him, I bet I had a worse day than you today... he says yes today.. but yesterday I had to go to an accident where an old man died.... Well yeah, I guess that trumps my bad day by like a million trillion.... perspective... oh hello there you are....
John packs me into the truck with my coffee and my crap from my car... which oh by the way I had to clean out while we were waiting for the tow truck guy because i'm a slacker and my car was a disgusting mess... but that's another show.
We drive to the dealership and I go over and give my friend Dave a hug and thank him profusely... he directs us over to the body shop... and we sit and wait while the semi-nice lady writes everything up... in the meantime the car comes in... I get another look at her and my gut sinks... The tow truck driver comes in, and I thank him for taking good care of her. He was really sweet. The insurance company will pay him directly. No charge to me. Thank goodness.
I decided to go into work because J and I were planning to go see a movie and I am not bleeding, and I feel obligated to go in... plus if I go home by myself, it will be an incredibly bad idea... wallowing in self pity and disgust and lots of crying and feeling sorry for myself... Work would be better. I can't believe it, but I went to work...
Day is good at work, but a little busy, we go to the movie... Due Date... lots of Robert Downey Jr, and laughing... just what I needed.
Text message to John later that day... Your truck ate my car... uuurp!... I'm sure it made him laugh.
They tell me that my car will be good as new... after $5207.31 in damages... I can't wait to see her look like this again....
*Ironically the day before I put an emergency contact list on the common drive at work so we could all access it in case someone had an emergency. I had J get me his number, and she mentioned that she got it from there. He said that I jinxed myself by doing that yesterday. Very funny guy he is. :)
If you read all the way to the end.. you deserve a prize. Email me your address and I'll mail you a piece of my broken car :)
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