Email to my husband this morning, after his text message to me asking how my morning was and my response was "It was a wreck and I'm a colossal idiot and I'll explain why in an email because it will take forever in text".
How do I get through life, I really wonder sometimes.
So I get my lazy tired ass out of bed this morning (I didn't get to sleep last night until around 2:30am - even the one advil PM couldn't get me to sleep) and drag ass to the car, only to remember that I have the truck, and I think that all the bill stuff is in it, but it isn't... it's probably at work. (Where I should probably go, because all the food from lunch is probably still on the counter because I ran out of there like a bat out of hell yesterday - to go have a client sign a form in Palm Bay (Out by mom and dad) - I think I forgot to tell you about that...)
Anyway... so I'm driving to the Learning Lab this morning so I can get in some of the 16 hours of lab that I need. I only have about 3.5 before I came in today and we have 3 weeks of class left, so really only two weeks that I can get lab hours in... My brain hurts to do the math on that one, but suffice to say I'm screwed and I suck.
Even though I'm fairly certain you can't take food or drink into the lab (millions of computers duh). I decide that I have to stop and get coffee and an apple fritter at 7-11 - you know, the one practically across the street from BCC Melbourne.
In my incredible moronic brain fog this morning, I pack up my laptop in one bag, my books in another bag, and my suitcase of a purse - I've got to carry all this shit around with me and I don't know where the learning lab is in the mammoth group of buildings that is BCC Melbourne, and my ribs are still a little ouchy...
Oh yes, and I have a steaming foam cup of coffee... Hey if I move the books and papers to one side of my bag, I'll be able to stick my FOAM coffee cup that is full of steaming hot coffee in the bag with the books and papers, and it will free up my hands to carry all the crap I brought, and it will be fine because you know those tops are awesome on those cups......... yeah, well you see where this is going. Those tops ARE awesome, but they don't do a damn bit of good when you are dragging 90 pounds of crap across the gobi desert that is the parking lot to BCC Melbourne to find the freaking learning lab...
So about halfway there, I realize, yes, the FOAM cup changed its shape and just popped that nice little lid right off and I have hot steaming coffee sloshing around with my books and papers. Hey at least I didn't put it in with the laptop...
So I stop right in the middle of the sidewalk and take everything out of the bag... dripping with coffee... OMG... I'm such an idiot. I'm just standing there looking at it... trying to figure out what the hell to do, since I really need to get in there so I can start the clock on my hours... I put the file folders back in the bag, I stack all the other crap in my arms, and carry the whole thing, and what is left of my coffee (not much) to the lab. The woman running the lab, should be in an ESOL class and not running a learning lab, and I can't understand what she is saying and she is SLOW and I JUST want to login to the computer so I can start the clock running. I finally get logged in and I drag my crap back to a table and sit down. Look around for paper towels... or SOMETHING... to help clean up the mess... I found nothing but tissues... I look for the lady... she's gone.... she comes back and tells me that there are paper towels in the bathroom down the hall. I was JUST waiting for her to tell me that I had to sign out before I could go get paper towels. She didn't...
Anyway... that's been my morning. The thing that got mostly messed up is the bill book... the school stuff was mostly fine. My ASL dictionary has a slight twinge of coffee. Oh and I smell wonderful.
Oh yeah, and there are no drinks allowed in the learning lab. I ignored the sign, and took the cup back to my desk anyway, keeping it respectfully away from any computer. It's now almost 11:30 and I've had 3 sips.
I think I may go home and drink. Like starting at 2pm.
Your moronic wife.
(ETA: He read the email and said "I read your email and I still don't think you're a moron", God I love that man.)